Just when I thought I had finished with the Mallu bandwagon and sat down to watch Kolkata play Mumbai, I see #SandeepWarrier running in to bowl to #RohitSharma. You remember the old joke about how Tensing and Hilary scaled Everest and turned around to find the Chaya kada?
Well, here is another joke about the Malayali who lands up everywhere.
Kuttappan is a Malayalee!
Kuttappan was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. “Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Kuttappan how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Kuttappan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough,
Tom Cruise shouts, "Kuttapa! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Kuttappan's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else", Kuttappan says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Kuttappan says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Kutts, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Kuttappan who again implores him to name anyone else.
"Michael Jackson," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Kuttappan. "I have a lot of friends in Los Angeles, and I've known the Michael a long time."
So off they fly to Los Angeles. Kuttappan and his boss are assembled with the crowd near L.A Square when Kuttappan says, "This will never work. I can't catch Michael’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with Michael
So, he disappears into the crowd, headed toward the building.
Sure enough, half an hour later Kuttappan emerges with the Michael on the balcony.
But by the time Kuttappan returns, he finds that his boss has had a minor heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Kuttappan asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and Michael came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Kuttappan?
ASHOK’s FIVE reviews Match #5 Mumbai versus Kolkata in the ongoing IPL2020.
Age of the Stuntmen
I talked about how the pinch-hitter has given way to the stuntman. And sure enough, this match found #SuryakumarYadav play the role to perfection, lending his skipper the perfect support as Rohit went after his favourite opposition team in the IPL scoring a quickfire 80 off 54 balls. I am fairly sure that the fantasy addicts must be betting big on the player who can come in on the top 5 list and score at a 200+ strike-rate. This helps not just the team to get to a 200 total but also put the match away. Especially if the opposition loses a couple of wickets early. Quite clearly the Sharjah matches are going to follow this trend.
Charge of the youth brigade
Joining Bishnoi, Padikkal and Sanju is Shivam Mavi who impressed with his pace and maturity in the match. His figures of 2 for 32 don’t do full justice to his pace and accuracy. This is indeed a bright future for Indian cricket. Watch out for 19-year-old Mujibur Rehman who could well make his debut today!
Return on Investment is the new buzzword
Pat Cummins may be the most expensive buy at this year’s IPL but what a welcome he got from Rohit Sharma and Saurabh Tiwari as they hoisted the 140+ deliveries over mid-wicket effortlessly. As one of the commentators put it “Welcome back to the IPL Patrick Cummins”. A lot of the players do look a little rusty and out-of-practice and I am not sure if this is only in the opening matches.
The advertisements are getting funnier!
As the match got over with KKR giving much without much of a fight save for the cameo by Cummins at the end, I noticed how the television commercials are becoming smarter, intelligent and funny. Swiggy continues to excel but the cake goes to the harried man in working out of the closet and continuing to mutter “YaYa…. YaYaYa…. Into the phone even as he closes the door. The expression on his wife’s face is simply hilarious. Pharmeasy has a winner here as the Urvashi Urvashi tune plays in the background!
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